There are times that we want to save money but for some reason not only we don’t save but we are also forced to pay a lot more additionally to what we planned. Especially when we are to meet friends and other people in our social circles. Often it is our inner need to appear as equals that will make us spend more money or will push us away from the event altogether.
Photo source: Google
We all know of the ‘I’m not going’ option to save money. The idea of being with our friends to have fun AND not spend much money or any at all, is not widely popular. But why is this?
We feel this invisible pressure that if we spend money then we are considered of a certain approved financial equality. From fear they won’t like us or that we’ll be the ones standing out for all the wrong reasons, we won’t dare to even bring it up and spend money we don’t have for holidays, dinners or a friend’s birthday.
Do you fret the moment where you tell people that you are only going to be paying for what you ordered and that’s that? You shouldn’t feel this way, yet you do. It is awkward and you’d rather didn’t bring it up. Don’t worry, it’s not just you.
It is an unspoken agreement people don’t discuss. Did you know that it’s actually something that can be easily changed? You can practice it right at the moment it happens. At the next social event you attend, such as a birthday dinner where someone majestically clever splits the bill in equal parts and you are asked to pay twice that of which you ordered, because you ordered only a main and a soft drink, bring it up with your sweetest smile. It will be a terrifying moment. State what you ordered and what it costed. At their argument, restate what you ordered and what it costed.
If you plan to be liked by everyone then by all means pay their bill. But if you had enough of such nonsense, state what you ordered, give them the exact amount of money and stick to it whatever their argument. Worst case scenario all people present at this dinner table will disappear from your life. If that happens know that you are lucky. You don’t need leeches in your life. Whatever the case, your friends will remain your friends. Best case scenario you might even make new ones because people deep down respect strong characters.
It is a sensitive subject. If you are respected by others it might lead to friendship. However, if you desire to be liked by the masses make sure you don’t stand out as a stingy or frugal person. Such people are not preferred in wide social circles. It all depends I suppose in what you do for a living, how popular you want to be and what your future life plans are.
One thing is certain. When it comes to your pocket and you are trying to save money, being realistic about finances and standing on your own two feet is a priority. You are the only person you have to answer to. Have integrity, mind your money and the rest will follow.
If you think speaking up your financial mind is difficult or that it is not something that you can change, think of this: Accountants don’t have this financial/social issue and they are the ones dealing with money. They know that every little helps and as a rule they don’t care if people dislike them. They know their numbers and they go to extremes. They are not stingy. They are devoid of those out of nothing social bonds that create the energy of being obliged to someone. They are trained to understand numbers. Numbers that represent money.
Life is all about choices and true friends. Stand firm on your beliefs and sooner or later you’ll be surrounded by like-minded people. Enjoy spending, enjoy saving, enjoy life!