Treat your partner kindly


Have you ever been in a supermarket and you took notice of other people’s behaviours? Especially the not-so-nice ones? I had this today. I was only looking to find tinned peaches in syrup and had to go a few times back and forth through the isles to find them.

When this happens I usually don’t mind because I like my local supermarket and I find grocery shopping therapeutic. But not this time. There was this couple with a boy toddler. The woman was pushing the trolley and the boy was sitting on the trolley-seat and both the child and the mother were quiet. But not the man. He was literally shouting at her as if she had done something wrong.


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‘Do you have rice, rice, do you have rice?’ Her answer was very quiet. But everybody heard his loud, disrespectful manner. He was walking ahead of her, barking orders, and she was pushing the trolley putting what was needed in the cart. What on earth. I could not avoid them. I looked at them and I was sad with what I saw. Why do people behave like this? It has happened before. As I live in London, the nationalities vary, but one thing is consistent. There are certain men, who treat their partners disrespectfully, for everyone around to notice. As if they take pride in behaving like this. The tone they use and the volume, is as if they want to show the world how good they are at being the boss in the family, advertising their brutality.

This man’s orders included milk, butter, yogurt and pasta. I was avoiding them and kept a truly wide berth but his idea of family shopping was chasing me and everyone else nearby. Finally I found the peaches and was ready for the till. But I could not shake this behaviour off. I went home but I could not just relax.

Why had I let something that was not directed at me, affect me so much? I go at great lengths at avoiding such people. Only the day before yesterday I read an article titled ‘The Uninvited Guests’ and I was upset about such things happening (the article tackled the subject of rape), and there is nothing I can think of that I can do to change the world for the better. I cannot interfere. I cannot alter the law, people or customs.

I only wanted to get a few ingredients from the supermarket, cook and prepare my lunch for tomorrow, but I could not switch off what I had witnessed. My mother taught me to be a thinker and a financially independent woman. She taught me that a family starts with two people who behave harmoniously in order to create, protect and educate their family. If one person behaves as if the other doesn’t matter, then it is time for the other person to find a partner who respects and appreciates them and understands the importance of mutual respect within family. Forever doesn’t exist, unless you and your partner work daily to treasure the mundane, everyday life.

We were meant to go through life in couples, loving each other. It hurts me to see that it isn’t so. And what affects me the most is that I don’t see people directly affected by such behaviours doing anything to change it. Of course, who am I to talk, it is none of my business. Only I wish I could do something, at least find a way to not be bothered when their problem touches my life. Is there a soap of sorts that I can use to wash it away?

Binge watching YouTube is not the answer. I know. I’ve tried it for an hour.

Are you affected by what you see around you? Or do you have the ability to simply walk away indifferent? And if you do, how do you do it?

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